Anonymous ll Phan
by phanxisxloved
Summary: Dan Howell was once a closeted gay 17 year old, until one of the most known guys on campus of Anderson University, discovers this secret that he had once kept. His secret soon becomes known by almost everyone on campus, and begins to get bullied for it, but soon a new student arrives that goes by the name of Phil Lester, resulting in Daniel getting the biggest shock of his life.
1. Its Not Easy Being Me -Anonymous

**Authors note:**

 **Hey! I would like to introduce you to my first ever fan fiction!I hope you enjoy this as much as I will enjoy writing it :) Most of the first few parts will probably be in Dan's POV, otherwise it just wont really make much sense. So without further a do, let's begin the story! *Sorry its a little short but the chapters get longer!***

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My hands begin to shake as my eyes meet with the entrance sign of the University, knowing that today, everything has changed.

My biggest secret has been spread, all because the biggest jerk in the school, Harry, couldn't keep his big mouth shut.

As I hesitantly walk through the gates, I feel all eyes staring towards my direction. Constant whispering enters my ears as I instantly bring my head down so that it would be safe from all the disgusted faces that were looking my way.

I overhear the yelling of an awfully familiar voice, and I instantly realised who it was. My best friend, Samuel, but we call him Sam. I was over run by joy as I heard that soothing voice calling my name.

I felt my feet begin to sprint towards the figure, soon reaching him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

'I'm so glad you're here!' I whispered quietly, but not too quiet. I looked up to his face, but his expression wasn't the one I was excpectiing.

My smile instantly drops to a frown.

"Get away from me, fag!"

He raises his voice.

I instantly unwrap my arms. I could feel the amount of hatred he had for me running through my skin. I take a step back, feeling my eyes swell up, only realising I was crying when my tears reached the concrete.

I looked back, everyone was either staring or gossiping about me and my actions.

I knew that from this moment, my whole life has taken an unpleasant, and unchangeable turn.

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 **I hope you enjoyed this! It's not that good seeing that its my first part to the fan fiction, but it will get better, trust me.**


	2. The Boy With The Blue Eyes -Anonymous

**/TRIGGER WARNING/ MENTIONS SELF HARM/**

 **AN:**

 **You guys wanted me to make it longer so I did! I'll make sure to make every chapter longer, the next ones gonna be more than 1000 words so dont worry about it always being under 1000. This is only the beggining to a really long phanfic ^o^**

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Dan's POV:

Its been a year now, and every day has been the same old thing. I would get ready, have something homophobic or offensive written on the whiteboard outside my dorm, get laughed at while making my way through the crowds of people pointing at my direction, sometimes physically hurt as well, sit quietly in class, then get a few punches thrown my way.

I guess I've gotten used to facing the constant abuse and pain alone, but at the same time I just want someone to be there when I cry. I want someone to hold me as I lay my head on their shoulder and get pulled closer. But I know that'll never happen. No one could love a worthless faggot like me. Not my own parents. Neither of my parents wanted me. First my dad left when I was 10, then at the age of 15 I got put up for adoption. I remember the exact words my mother used as she aggressivly pushed me towards the kind looking lady, resulting in me falling to my knees.

"He's a useless piece of shit that doesn't deserve to live in my house. Find him some other faggots to live with."

The words she used struck me so hard, it felt like she graphically ripped my heart right out of my chest.

*BEEP BEEP*

The sudden beeping of my phone brought me back to reality, pushing the depressing flashback that has just entered my mind away.

And the cycle begins

I think to myself, ready for the pain that I was about to take in.

I decided to take a quick shower, I wanted this day to end as fast as possible. As I look down to my bruised arm, the burning water stings my recent slits. The liquid

ended up making some of them bleed again because of the heat, but I didn't mind.

I got out of the shower and decided to wear my eclipse shirt with black jeans.

I walked back into the bathroom, wiping down the fog that was on my mirror.

As I stare at my face, words begin to appear in my mind.

You're useless, nobody would care if you died.

I grab my straightener and straighten my hobbit hair. Just another one of the hundreds of flaws I have. I end the first step of the cycle by putting some foundation and concealer over my cuts.

I walk out of my dorm to check what was on the board today. It read Die Fag

Honestly not surprised. I wipe it off with my hand and continue to walk to my class.

As I walk I get interrupted by a familiar voice.

'Hey, faggot, kissed any guys lately?'

I instantly knew who it was after that one despicable comment.

'Oh, who am I kidding? No one could love a useless faggot like you. Not even another homo.'

'What are you doing here Harry?'

I asked, worried about what my future had in store for me.

'Me? Oh nothing much, just trying to get that disgusting smile off your face. Oh wait, thats not needed. You never smile anyway.'

He keeps walking close to me as I slowly back up, soon reaching a dead end.

'Harry, please dont...' I said under my breath.

As always, he didn't listen.

He pushes me against the wall as I hear people rushing to the scene.

'Oh No.' I mumble

'Oh, what was that Danny?' He says as he throws the first punch.

I feel my mouth begin to bleed as Harry tells everyone to hold down my arms and legs so that I couldnt move, and that's what they did.

People begin to kick at me and punch me in the gut, some girls with sharp nails decided to slowly scratch my arms, resulting in them bleeding. Everyone seemed to enjoy laughing at my misery.

Suddenly I hear a voice I didn't recognize, it sounded sweet and gentle but at the same time, it wasnt too deep or too high. It was just right.

I couldnt hear what it was saying because of the fact that it was so far, I only heard the echo.

As the guy runs towards me, he keeps yelling

'Stop! Please, stop It!'

Those were words I never thought I'd hear.

He pushes everyone away from me, which was surprising because of the fact that they were gripping on really tight.

'Leave him alone!' He yells.

Everyone walks off, disappointed that they couldnt break me even more. There was only one boy left standing in the same place.

I quickly lose balance and fall down, letting out a yell because of the pain.

'Are you Okay?' He gets on one knee and helps me up, but I fall down to the ground again.

'I'm fine.' I lie, confused about why he helped me.

'No, you're not. No one would be okay after that.' He sits down against the wall, and wraps his arms around me.

Shocked, I quickly push him away.

'What are you doing?' I say with an unintentionally rude tone.

'I'm just trying to help...' He says, slightly disappointed.

'I'm sorry, I came off a bit rude. I'm just shocked.' I say, looking down to the ground.

'It's Okay, don't be sorry. I'd be shocked too if a stranger randomly hugged me.'

I weakly laugh at the comment.

'I'm Phil by the way.' He enthusiastically says with a grin on his face, putting his hand out so that I could shake it.

I hesitate to say my name,

'Dan...' I say, looking at his hand, but not shaking it.

He awkwardly puts down his hand, but he was still smiling.

I finally look up. He had black hair that was taken to the side, creating a long side fringe. Exactly like my hair but his fringe was on the left when mine was the right. He had quite pale skin, if it were one shade lighter he would probably go transparent. But the thing that stood out the most were his beautiful eyes. They were a light blue colour with dark blue rims, but what made them spectacular was the hints of gold spread around them.

He's perfect.

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 **Authors note:**

 **Hey! I hope you enjoyed that! It's quite long but I really enjoyed writing it. I feel so bad cause I was so mean to Dan in this and its probably gonna get worse :( I love you guys so much!**

 **Thanks for reading ^-^**


	3. Feelings? - Anonymous

Disclaimer*

I'm so sorry, but I had to change the fact of them going to University to High School because its really hard for me to write something in the setting of a university :( Everything else will be kept the same though, so don't worry the story line wont be changed 3

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 ** _Dans POV_**

After a minute of me and Phil staring in each others eyes, Phil finally snapped out of it.

He shook his head to get himself back to reality,

'So.. umm... which class are you going to?' He asked me, looking towards the brick wall that I have been pushed against not too long ago.

'Oh, um..' I quickly rummage in my checkered black and red bag, searching for the timetable. I pull it out of my bag and read what it says, 'Oh, um, Science...' I awkwardly say, staring aimlessly at his perfection without Phil noticing,

He looks in my direction and I turn my head as fast as possible.

'Oh, I have science too! E2 right?' He giggles, squinting his eyes in joy.

I nod, looking down and fiddling with my hands.

'Great! I guess we should get going.' He eagerly rises up and holds out his hand, silently offering to help me up.

I hesitate for a second, but grab onto his hand. As he pulls me up I stumble a little bit but he catches me just before I fall.

I feel my face begin to burn up as he helps me get my balance and puts his arm around my shoulder. I do the same to him and we begin to walk, I've never felt so happy to be at school before!

The day was now over and, to my surprise, no one threw any punches. I feel like Phil intimidated them, which confused me since he was so sweet. Not that I'm complaining though, he did practically save my life. I'm kind of disappointing though because me and Phil didn't talk for the rest of the day, and he seemed to fit in quite well.

As I got home, I quickly turned on my laptop because I wanted to see if I had any new followers on my tumblr account, luckily I did! My face lit up as I realised I now had 203 followers! I never thought I'd get this far. As I checked the new followers that were on my account (DanielDreamX), I was shocked to realise that one of my new followers by the name of 'LoveEyesLester' has followed me! The name reminded me of someone that has recently been called out in class to be introduced to everyone.

Lester.. Lester... Les..Ter?... PHIL!

I was shocked to realise that it was Phil! The only person that actually cared about me. Me! Of all people.

I instantly decided to message him, over run by joy. But just as I clicked on his name in the messages page, I hesitated.

What if I write something stupid!? What if I mess up? Then I really would have no one at all. Just like last year and this year, not including today of course.

I decide to think carefully about my choice of words.

I could say hey, but that would be too friendly, like I've been his friend forever. Maybe howdy? Wait no, I'm not from fricking Texas! And I'm not flowey from undertale either. I decided to just go with 'Hi' since it wasn't too friendly or too lazy.

I hesitantly type in the message

DanielDreamX: Hi ^-^

I wait eagerly for a reply, like a little kid who was being taken out for Ice Cream.

As I see the words saying

LoveEyesLester is typing...

I instantly regret messaging him.

LoveEyesLester: Hey Dan! ^o^ Please dont think I'm weird for following your account, I just saw it and a picture of you holding a unicorn plushie and I thought it was adorable and instantly clicked follow without thinking.

I feel my face burn up as I read the words 'I thought it was adorable', he thinks I'm cute? I think to myself, over and over again, but then instantly realise I just met him! I can't go around liking guys I barley know!

DanielDreamX: I really dont mind, or think you're creepy. You just saw it on your recommended so you clicked follow :3 I honestly would of done the same thing with You, your profile picture is really cute as well though :) I love your little umbrella! So pastelly, really brings off the Tumblr vibes, am I right? xD

LoveEyesLester: Haha yeah, it was a gift from my grandma, I never thought I'd use it tbh.

Our conversation kind of just went by so fast, until Phil had to get to sleep at 1:00 AM. I decide to do the same thing.

Just as I'm about half asleep, I hear my phone Buzz, instantly waking me up. It was a text?

Who would text me at this time? I curiously open the message,

It read: Hello :)

It was pretty freaky knowing they didn't say their name? I was too tired to reply so I just left it on read and went back to sleep to deal with it another day.

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 _ ***Disclaimer***_

 _ **I changed Harry into Alfie! Im so sorry I just want there to be real people that they know in this, I didn't think about it before. This is the last change, I promise!**_

* * *

 **Dans POV**

It was the morning now, and surprise surprise! The same old thing, yet again. But I had a feeling that something was gonna be different today; First Phil found my tumblr, now this mystery person texted me!? It was really strange. This was probably the most eventful thing that's happened to me in years, which is a pretty sad thought because of the fact that its not even that interesting.

As I made my way to school, proudly wearing my FOB (Fall out boy) T-shirt, and strangely enough, I had a the feeling of warmth in the bottom of my heart. I finally felt loved by someone, I finally felt like I had a friend to lend me a hand and a shoulder to cry on.

As I walk silently towards the school with my black earphones plugged into my ears, blasting Cemetery drive by My Chemical Romance at the loudest my phone could go. It was about halfway through the song when I felt an abrupt weight being put onto my shoulder.

Out of shock, I stopped. I knew it was Alfie, it had to be! If it wasn't, then... Who would it be? Maybe it was Phil? I'm not sure exactly, it would be highly unlikely if it was. But no, it wasn't either of them.

"Well, well, well, so the fag doesn't have any friends? Not surprised." An unfamiliar voice speaks out, "Oh, not gonna reply are you? Hmph. Why do I even bother? People seem to beat you up every day, so why should I join in? Oh right, its cause freaks like you shouldn't exist!' He yelled, kicking me down to the ground, my earphones falling, and my phones screen cracked slightly, but luckily it wasn't too badly cracked. He kicked me again, resulting in me falling from my hands and knees down into me just lying flat. I struggle to get back to my knees and start coughing up blood. The more he kicked me, the worse it got. He eventually left to let me cripple up into a fetal position, alone, on the cold, hard, ground. I didn't even know who he was! I didn't get one glimpse of him, so that meant I didn't know who to look out for.

Usually people would just copy what Alfie does, seeing as he was one of the most popular people in the school, but if someone else is starting to do it without any command, that's just one more person that could hurt me without Alfie there encouraging it.

Suddenly I heard the soothing sound of Phils voice coming closer

"DAN! Are you okay?!" I heard Phil yell from a short distance. He soon reached me and noticed I wasn t replying or opening my eyes. I began to feel heat of my cheeks being gripped onto and my head being shaken around. I quickly open my eyes and I notice the frown on Phil's face disappear.

"Oh my gosh Dan! You had me so worried! What happened?" He raises his voice, still sitting on his knees and holding onto my face.

'Nothing... I'm fine don't worry about it.' I state. I watch as his eyes drift away from my face, toward the blood that has now stained the concrete. His eyes begin to tear up as his hands leave my face. He shuffles over towards it, eyes wide with shock.

'Dan... you're not okay..."

"Y-yes, I am!"

"Then whats this?" He gestures to the puddle of blood and cracked phone that you could tell was obviously mine because of the MCR case.

I sit up in silence, and after long pause Phil finally breaks the silence.

"Nevermind, you dont have to tell me if you don't want to, as long as you're okay!"

"Thank you..." I awkwardly reply.

He gathers up my things and heads the direction opposite from the school.

"Phil?"

He stops for a second and turns his head towards my direction.

"Yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"To your house of course!"

I chuckle at the comment.

"Why?" I tilt my head.

"Cause theres no way you're going to school in that condition!"

"Hmm... okay..." I reply, unsure of this decision. I've always gone to school, even when I got beaten up in the morning.

I stand up and watch as he kept on walking, then after 5 seconds, suddenly stops.

"Dan..." he says

"Yes?" I reply, almost instantly.

He turned around as I realise the most adorable, innocent look had on his face.

"I dont know where you live..."

"What a shock." I laugh, "C'mon, I'll show you." I giggle and attempt to run over to him, but I fall instead, and yet again, Phil saves me right before I hit the ground.

"You really shouldnt be running Dan." Phil kindly addressed.

"Sorry Phil!" I tried my best to smile, but I was feeling mixed emotions now, and Phil didn't need to know that. I wouldn't want him to worry even more than he already does.

I kindly directed him to my apartment, it was only a 10 minute walk from the place I was found. As I stood outside the old building, I smile, knowing I'm safe with him.

"You live in an apartment?" Phil asked, confused.

"Yeah," I stare down at the ground, slightly embarrassed.

"I wish I could live in an apartment. Theres so many people around, it just seems like it would be fun. So, do your parents live with you?"

My eyes widen with shock, although I was relieved about him saying he wanted to live in one, but at the same time knowing I couldn't tell the truth about my parents. If I did, he'd think I'm a freak! Just like everyone else in my school.

"Y-yeah." I felt guilty, but I knew that this decision would keep me safe.

A faint smile appeared on his face, but he didnt say anything.

"Should we go in?" I asked, "Of course!" He almost screamed those words, I didnt know why he was so excited. He gestured that he wanted me to get on his back, I gave him a quite bewildered look, I guess he realised I had no idea what he was on about because he decided to tell me why he wanted me to get on his back.

Phil's POV

Dan looked like he was in so much pain, therefore I decided to offer him a ride on my back so that he wouldn't have to walk too much and get hurt even worse. He obviously didnt understand what I meant when I gestured for him to get on my back. Ugh, he must think I'm some sort of creep. Why is it that I always ruin relationships by looking weird, out of place, or just plain awkward. Wait. Did I just say I liked him? Oh my gosh. Theres no way I like him, I couldnt like him! Could I? Ugh this is so confusing.

"Phil?" Dan tried to get my attention bt waving his hand in mt face several times. He eventually gave up and just poked my cheek.

My face burned red as I finally escaped from all the questions that were running through my mind.

"Sorry, I was just daydreaming." I explained,

"Thats fine, dont worry about it."

"So, should we go up?" I politely mentioned

"Yeah sure!" I watched as a genuine smile slowly crept its way onto Dan's lips.

He jumped onto my back and wrapped his arms around my neck, gently laying his head on my shoulder. I felt my face begin to heat up, going redder than ever! It wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I tried to think of something else, every thought just resulted back to Dan. I shook it off, trying my best to repress the thoughts.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please secure your seatbelts. We are preparing for takeoff." I said with the impression of a pilot. I heard a small giggle escape from Dan's soft lips. I begin to make myself sound like an aeroplane while running around in circles, and after about 5 spins I widened my arms, like the wings of a plane, and ran into the building. As I began to make my way towards the elevator Dan spoke

"Phil, Phil, slow down!" He laughed really hard and that was probably the nicest sound I've heard this morning.

"I cant hear you over my epic...ness?" I laughed at the fact that I just pretty much made a fool out of myself, but Dan laughed with me, which smothered me with relief.

As we entered the elevator Dan pressed a button that said '5' on it while trying to keep his balance by grabbing hold of my hair.

"Do you want me to let you down now?"

"No. I kinda like it up here, other than the fact that I could fall down any minute."

I chuckled as we slowly walked out of the elevator.

"So, whats your surname Dan?" I asked, regretting it straight after.

I felt his heart skip a beat as his chest was pressed against my back. It was strange because of the fact that it was highly unlikely that he liked me.

"H-h-Howell."

"Oo can I nickname you wolfy?" I joked, still walking straight ahead.

"Yeah, once I let my hobbit hair escape my straightener."

"Hobbit hair?" I cheekily asked.

"Uhh..." he seemed embarrassed, "Oh I see my apartment. It says 57 on it, over there!" He pointed at the door, avoiding my question.

I decided to ask about it later, he didnt seem to wanna talk about this 'hobbit hair' of his. I could tell he was struggling to get into his pocket from up there to get his keys,

"Dan, let me." I reached my hand out for his pocket and my face went red, hopefully his did too.

I grabbed the keys, it had an adorable little cat charm on it with long black whiskers.

I unlocked the door and swung it open, ready for a new chapter in my life to begin.

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 **AN:**

 **Omg i'm so sorry this took so long to write and edit ahhh ~ I've had a small case if writers block recently, thats the main reason why haha -. This is kind of fluffy I think. Anyway, love you guys! º So sorry for uploading so late ;-;**


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